siriusly | Deer Country Inbox

From a robot you found, right? [he doesn't turn his eye on him as he asks, still trying to fit these pieces into place with the few he already has.]

Found. Were led to.

He called it a 'game'. Didn't tell us that it would cost us our lives to pilot.

... But we had to, if we wanted to save our world.

[his brow furrows.]

Who's "he"-? The guy who made it?

[He shakes his head.]

The last pilot for each world shows up on the next world to pick the next group of people and fight their final battle as an 'example'.

[he doesn't bother to hide his disgust:] That's a disgusting game - if you can even call it that. Sounds like torture to me.

It is. It's not fair and it doesn't have the rules up front. It's a battle for existence, for your version of Earth to survive.

[he clicks his tongue in distaste; from under the blanket, Magnet growl-grunts.]

So you get put through hell enough, come here, and your dreams decide that's not enough, huh? That's no good, Jun.

Pretty much. I don't... want to feel like this. I can't figure out how too fix this.

[There's nothing to fix, but he feels like there should be.]

[Manabu doesn't answer right away. he doesn't have a good answer - key point being good. sure, he has some impulse ideas, but... but instead, he just hugs Jun a bit, tilting his head to prop against the top of Jun's - the way his big brother used to do to him.]

It...really sounds like PTSD. Not the kind of thing you fix on your own.

[He hesitates a moment and then leans into Manabu.]

I only... sort of know what that is.

[despite the doubtful noise Manabu breathes out, he's kind of relieved to hear that. he's just a kid - as much as he has no business getting caught up in some sick, apocalyptic killing scheme, he has just as little business needing to know what PTSD is.]

Mn...the way I was taught, it's something that happens to a person after they go through something really traumatic. That's the "PT" part - post-traumatic. Your body and brain work really hard to take care of you after that, but...it's hard. And PTSD means that you can get really sick or, or have panic attacks at the drop of a hat.

It kind of...manifests a little differently for different people, but it's just...you're just...overburdened, you know? Like trying to carry twice the amount of weight you're able to.

... Oh.

[That... makes sense, with what he knows of psychology - which is little, but he knows enough science to get the basic idea.]

How do you fix - or... treat it? It's not like we have therapists here.

[And he can't imagine explaining all of this to a therapist. There's no way they could properly understand...]

[that's the question, isn't it?]

It... Heh, sorry, it sounds wishy-washy to say, but...it really does depend, you know? The therapists here go by a different name, but there are people who do specialize in helping people work through problems like these. And-- I mean, are you surprised? Given all the monsters and moon-madness? People were going nuts on each other just a week ago...

[...]

If you're fine with it, I can look into it. Find some trustworthy people. [...] My, ah...my contacts pool's gotten kinda small lately, but...I know a few people. A few people who know a lot more people.

If... you trust them, then I'll try to trust them.

[Despite himself he leans into Manabu some more, closing his eyes.]

I can look and see if the archives have anything. I don't know how much I'll find, but I can at least try.

[a desperate kind of relief hits Manabu at such a wary concession that it almost makes him want to sigh aloud, but instead he's riding this thread as far as he can safely take it:] And I want to find you a different place to stay. This place is a dump... You're...kind of setting yourself up for misery in a place like this.

You come back to the house and stay where I'm at, okay? At least until you feel more steady on your own feet and really get sick of me and Magnet.

It is... I was thinking of moving anyway. But... don't you have roommates? I don't want to take up anyone else's spot.

[He can sleep on a couch, sure... but he's not sure if he wants to take that up, either.]

Stars aligned a bit, I think. [his mouth quirks, unseen.] Vyng and the rest of his tent...they're out minding the farms a while.

But I'll talk to Michael. If he doesn't mind a wooly pig rampaging around the place, he's not gonna mind a kid just trying to get some peace of mind. [Magnet quietly ruffs, unseen.] Let me worry about that.

... Okay.

[He shifts his hand over to give Magnet a little scritch on top of the head. Good dog.]

I don't know Michael. Is he a decent person?

[Probably, if Manabu's living with him.]

I'll move things over in the morning, before work. It's not much, as you can tell.

He's kind of a weirdo, but he's an honest kind of weirdo. And he's always been decent to me, so...

[so he's confident it'll be alright. he pats Jun's shoulder to punctuate the point with some encouragement.]

So don't worry about it! But--aa, hey. [he leans a bit, taking Jun partly with him as he reaches to tug his satchel over and dig through it.] Here. [a water flask. he puts it in Jun's lap.] Brought some water. Drink a little, then try to relax for a bit. Getting worked up takes it outta you, but you'll feel worse if you're dehydrated.

[He takes the flask and stares at it a moment before opening it and taking a long drink. ... He does feel slightly better now that he's had some water, and he lets out a long breath.]

I... I've never been good at having friends. They just kind of... happened to me. But... I guess what I'm trying to say is... is...

... Thank you. For... being here. For me.

[that kind of thing simultaneously warms and hurts Manabu to hear; he's grateful he was here, able to help in some way, but...this isn't something he should have to do. because kids shouldn't have to be caught up in a state like this.

but there's no changing that now...so all he can do is try his best here with what is as it is.]

Anytime. Really. It's a million times better for you to call at any time of day, no matter what I'm doing, than for you to be dealing with this kind of stuff on your own. Okay?

... I'll try.

[There's a closeness here, one he's not familiar with. Friendship, maybe. But he's being cared for in a way that he's just not had before. It's not as if he was a neglected child, but his adopted father had been distant since his wife died, focused on work more than his children.]

[He's not sure what to do with this feeling, other than put it in a box on the shelf in his mind to examine later.]

I'm used to doing things on my own. So asking for help is... weird.

[Uncomfortable might be a better word for it, but he's not sure.]

I'm... trying.

I know. That's why I'm gonna keep reminding you. [because if Manabu Yuuki is good for anything? he's good for the stubbornness to see something he believes in through.]

... You're a good person.

[He reminds Jun of Kanji. The same fierce kindness... it's nice, if a little frustrating at times.]

[But it's nice.]

[he utters a kind of nah sound to deflect it a bit, patting his shoulder again and shifting, resituating to get more settled.]

Try and get a couple winks, okay? I'll poke you awake if you start getting worked up again.

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icanhearscreams - 2022-07-30 03:08 (UTC) - Expand