[that smile is none too reassuring. it actually makes Manabu's stomach clench, makes him aware of the state of the coat, reflexively covering up some of the more pronounced lacerations on the arm.]
Fine, I'm--fine...
[his eyes wince, aware it's a lie even as he utters it. he holds his breath a beat before letting out a sigh. it's hard to open up to people, yet...isn't that what he was asking of Ryunosuke? isn't that what he was being asked before?]
...Well. Maybe not fine. But alive. Same as you, right?
[he hesitates, his voice lowering a bit.]
Nothing like that...you've never...had to deal with something like that before, have you.
[He nearly calls him out on his lie when he changes his response.]
Yeah. Alive is a good word for it. I'm glad you're alive.
[Alive but not well. It was a good assessment of the state of living here in Trench, wasn't it? He sighs, wondering if this was what life would be like the longer he's here. He sits back in his chair, keeping his voice low.]
No. Nothing like this. I've heard of gruesome deaths in the courtroom, things from autopsy reports or word of mouth but seeing it myself... [It was almost more than he can bear.]
[Manabu's expression remains pained, a mix of guilt and sympathy. he'd managed to find Childe, why couldn't he find Ryunosuke, too? this poor guy, he...he shouldn't have dealt with that alone. or at all!
Magnet's nose peeks up from behind the table to lick at Ryunosuke's hand.]
It's...it's not great. [yeah, no shit, Manabu! he exhales heavily through his nose, shaking his head.] I'm sorry. Something like that...that's a first here. For us. But...
[but it's not new in its gruesomeness. not to Manabu.]
[It wasn't easy being alone in that place, but he survived through it and found his way out. Or well was forced out before he had to sacrifice too much of himself to escape. He smiles down at Magnet, moving to rub at his head again, grateful for the comforting gesture.]
I get the feeling it won't be the last time either. [He thinks out loud, mulling over it as he finally reaches for the bread, hoping that he could at least stomach something. He doesn't remember the last time he ate so it might do him some good.]
It's not the first time you've encountered something like this. [A statement, not a question, as he looks up to Manabu.] How do you deal with it?
[Manabu watches him, the pained expression still lingering throughout. he's not sure he likes to see a smile like that - one that's coming from a place of hurt.
he grimaces at the on-the-mark statement...and the ask. self-consciously, Manabu rubs again at the tear on his sleeve, looking down.]
It's...hard to say. I mean, I'm...not the best example to follow, I think. If it's just me. [which is bleak, isn't it? it's damn bleak! that's not what's needed here, even if it's true.
he hesitates.
there's other things that are true, too.]
But...we go forward anyway. Because we...we're not alone. You know. [he peeks up.] Because people check in on us. Ask us if we're okay. Offer to...listen.
[he hopes that's clear enough: doing what Ryunosuke did for him, that's how iti works.]
Thank you, Manabu. [He says quietly, setting the bread down on the table without taking a bite, staring at it. He's still caught up in his head, still reliving everything about the facility that he saw, he heard, he smelled. It settles in the back of his mind as he idly pets Magnet.]
Sorry. [He realizes he's been staring for a minute.] I really appreciate you... coming out here. I really don't mean to worry you. [Or anyone for that matter.]
[that's not what he should feel! Manabu's gut clenches at the sound of words that he's uttered himself, now coming out of someone else - someone who shouldn't have to relate to his feelings at all.
Manabu rubs at his face, quiet for a beat. he can't even feel it with his hands...the heat under his skin...]
It's not like you...went out of your way to, you know? That is--getting...caught up in something like that...of course I know you'd not want that! No one does...
Sorry, that was rather dark, wasn't it? [He rubs the back of his head, looking a little sheepish.] Maybe unavoidable is too grim of an outlook.
[He had to hold onto something akin to hope that there may be something he can look up to. But between Manabu dying and what he's seen -- he's got a feeling this was just the tip of the iceberg.]
I just get this feeling that things aren't going to get much better.
[His heart leaps in his chest at the suddenness of it all. The way he says it, the surprise movement from Magnet, the cups bounding on the table - he reaches up to grab at the front of his coat stunned. He blinks, before slowly nodding, registering what he's said.]
[Manabu keeps his eye glued downward, palms flush on the table, face red, plainly embarrassed enough for the both of them for his stupidity. but it's too late! can't stop this train.]
E-every day. Even if it's small! Something...something normal. Or familiar! Something...that isn't a nightmare. It's not a lot, but. But it can still add up, you know? Just...having a reminder out there. Someone else...seeing something outside...of your own head.
[his posture starts to slack out of that adrenaline-fueled hunch, but his pose is still about the same. his tone softens, too.]
Because...when you're the only person...who knew the place you're from... It can feel like...you'll forget...who you are...if you don't put it out there...
[he gulps against the tightness in his throat, feeling his good eye stinging.]
So I don't care...how stupid it is...tell me about it. One thing a day. Okay...?
[The passion behind his words takes him by surprise.]
Manabu... [He doesn't know what to say, rendered temporarily speechless by his words. What could he say? He listens intently before falling into a comfortable silence shortly after Manabu stops talking. Could he promise something like that? A simple text a day of something familiar? What if he doesn't find anything familiar, or can't think of something to text him?
He nods slowly, reaching for his cup of tea once more.]
One thing a day. [He finds himself smiling softly, looking down into the cup.] Only if you do the same. Perhaps it'll help us both as we navigate this place.
[had the silence gone on any longer, Manabu was at risk of dropping his head straight onto the table and fizzling out in sheer embarrassment. his emotional outbursts are far easier to stomach in very intense situations, not...tea time...
he's relieved to hear Ryunosuke agree to the idea, even if it comes at the cost of one good turn for another.
he exhales heavily, finally losing that wound-up posture.]
Maybe I'll get the hang of texting doing this. [He actually laughs lightly, lifting his cup to drink the remainder of the tea.] I think I've been getting better at it.
[He's still learning how to use the Omni, but he's been doing better with texting and slowly interacting with people over the network. It was still far beyond what he's used to, but he sees the benefits of it.]
Are you sure you want me texting you every day? That won't get annoying, will it?
[Manabu's hair has started to get frizzy, thanks to getting all worked up, and a bit of that static pops out when he lifts his fingers away from the table and draws them back to himself, ruffling self-consciously through his hair.
he exhales a chilly vapor in a huff, sitting upright and finally daring to look over and sees there's a less fraught smile on Ryunosuke's face. that means...he made the right call, didn't he?
thank goodness...]
Eh? [blinkblink.] Annoying? Aa, n-no. No, it's...not like my Omni's blowing up all the time anyway. It'll be fine!
As long as you're sure. I just don't want to be a bother. [The last part is said quietly, almost under his breath as he taps the cup of his idly. If he could get used to using the Omni more that would be helpful in the long run, but he also doesn't want to annoy or bother Manabu.
Though he says it's fine, he's still going to worry a little bit.
Ryunosuke turns his attention to his empty tea cup, and tilts it toward him.]
[Ryunosuke said do you want some more tea? and Manabu hears can I have some more tea. with that in his brain, Manabu pops up out of his seat and plucks Ryunosuke's cup from his hand.]
Right-- I'll be right back!
[aaand before Ryunosuke can object, he's off to go get more, back almost as quickly. he has to - he doesn't want to chill the cup!
this is how he works best: having a task, being able to do something for someone. any movement that makes him feel like he's moving forward, instead of simply treading water. he looks brighter-eyed for it, even.]
Here...should still be hot? I hope. Sorry if it isn't...
[Before he can say anything, Manabu is off and getting him more tea. He glances at his neglected bread, and finally takes a bite of the torn-off piece. Eating the food here reminds him of what he's found in England, and he misses the food from Japan. What he wouldn't give for a hot pot right now. He smiles when Manabu returns, accepting the cup gingerly.]
Thank you. It's fine. [Even if it was cooler (which it's not by much!) he still enjoys the tea and company greatly.] I really appreciate your kindness when I wasn't sure I'd find much.
[He's gotten used to the xenophobia the English people sometimes displayed when he greeted them. How his English is surprisingly decent for a Japanese man.] I'm sorry if I worried you. I just wasn't sure where else to turn.
[Manabu slips back into his seat, watching Ryunosuke as he speaks. it takes a few seconds for the meaning of the words to really hit, and even then it doesn't make a lot of sense.
wasn't...sure he'd find much? well, inside that hellish tower, Manabu gets it. but out here? nobody...was helping him?]
I-it's okay. I mean, I'm glad you relied on me! That...I was around to be relied on, even. [it's one helluva turn from the past few weeks, that's for sure.
now that he's sat still again, he takes a more careful look at Ryunosuke, looking for signs of dire injury beyond the haunted look on his face.]
[It's not so much that people aren't helping him! But finding yourself alone in a faraway land with no friends is a difficult transition. He's met a handful of people, some who seem to be more helpful than others, but no real long-lasting connections. At least not yet.
He'll get there.]
No, they didn't hurt me. I... I don't know how I managed it, but I got through relatively unscathed. [Mentally he was scarred, and he would never forget what he saw (likely that he'd have nightmares) but at least he made it out in one piece.] I usually hid when I heard something coming. I wasn't armed so I wasn't sure I'd be able to take anything in a fight.
[Being without the katana, no matter if he knows how to use it or not, was terrifying on many levels.]
No, that's smart, those...those guys are bad. Bad news. Better to hide and get away. You still got a place here in Willful Machine, right? Somewhere safe-?
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instead:] ...I didn't see you there. I'm sorry. I would've tried to get to you.
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[Sort of.]
Did you? Are you all right? [He noticed the state of his coat, just hadn't thought to ask about it earlier.]
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Fine, I'm--fine...
[his eyes wince, aware it's a lie even as he utters it. he holds his breath a beat before letting out a sigh. it's hard to open up to people, yet...isn't that what he was asking of Ryunosuke? isn't that what he was being asked before?]
...Well. Maybe not fine. But alive. Same as you, right?
[he hesitates, his voice lowering a bit.]
Nothing like that...you've never...had to deal with something like that before, have you.
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Yeah. Alive is a good word for it. I'm glad you're alive.
[Alive but not well. It was a good assessment of the state of living here in Trench, wasn't it? He sighs, wondering if this was what life would be like the longer he's here. He sits back in his chair, keeping his voice low.]
No. Nothing like this. I've heard of gruesome deaths in the courtroom, things from autopsy reports or word of mouth but seeing it myself... [It was almost more than he can bear.]
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Magnet's nose peeks up from behind the table to lick at Ryunosuke's hand.]
It's...it's not great. [yeah, no shit, Manabu! he exhales heavily through his nose, shaking his head.] I'm sorry. Something like that...that's a first here. For us. But...
[but it's not new in its gruesomeness. not to Manabu.]
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I get the feeling it won't be the last time either. [He thinks out loud, mulling over it as he finally reaches for the bread, hoping that he could at least stomach something. He doesn't remember the last time he ate so it might do him some good.]
It's not the first time you've encountered something like this. [A statement, not a question, as he looks up to Manabu.] How do you deal with it?
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he grimaces at the on-the-mark statement...and the ask. self-consciously, Manabu rubs again at the tear on his sleeve, looking down.]
It's...hard to say. I mean, I'm...not the best example to follow, I think. If it's just me. [which is bleak, isn't it? it's damn bleak! that's not what's needed here, even if it's true.
he hesitates.
there's other things that are true, too.]
But...we go forward anyway. Because we...we're not alone. You know. [he peeks up.] Because people check in on us. Ask us if we're okay. Offer to...listen.
[he hopes that's clear enough: doing what Ryunosuke did for him, that's how iti works.]
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[Sound advice.]
Thank you, Manabu. [He says quietly, setting the bread down on the table without taking a bite, staring at it. He's still caught up in his head, still reliving everything about the facility that he saw, he heard, he smelled. It settles in the back of his mind as he idly pets Magnet.]
Sorry. [He realizes he's been staring for a minute.] I really appreciate you... coming out here. I really don't mean to worry you. [Or anyone for that matter.]
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[that's not what he should feel! Manabu's gut clenches at the sound of words that he's uttered himself, now coming out of someone else - someone who shouldn't have to relate to his feelings at all.
Manabu rubs at his face, quiet for a beat. he can't even feel it with his hands...the heat under his skin...]
It's not like you...went out of your way to, you know? That is--getting...caught up in something like that...of course I know you'd not want that! No one does...
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[It's something he needs to learn to live with, whether he did or not would be up to him. He sighs, rubbing at his face.]
I would rather not get caught up in something else like this but I think it's unavoidable.
[As long as he doesn't get dragged there again, he'd be happy.]
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unavoidable. he...thinks that already? even Manabu was in some pretty solid denial for a while. but then, his first foray into terror wasn't...this...
still. it bothers him to hear such a conclusion from Ryunosuke. did this place...already take away his hope?]
Ryunosuke...
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[He had to hold onto something akin to hope that there may be something he can look up to. But between Manabu dying and what he's seen -- he's got a feeling this was just the tip of the iceberg.]
I just get this feeling that things aren't going to get much better.
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[he barks it as he suddenly drops his fists on the table, making the cups bounce and causing Magnet to startle in Ryunosuke's lap.]
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[His heart leaps in his chest at the suddenness of it all. The way he says it, the surprise movement from Magnet, the cups bounding on the table - he reaches up to grab at the front of his coat stunned. He blinks, before slowly nodding, registering what he's said.]
Okay?
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E-every day. Even if it's small! Something...something normal. Or familiar! Something...that isn't a nightmare. It's not a lot, but. But it can still add up, you know? Just...having a reminder out there. Someone else...seeing something outside...of your own head.
[his posture starts to slack out of that adrenaline-fueled hunch, but his pose is still about the same. his tone softens, too.]
Because...when you're the only person...who knew the place you're from... It can feel like...you'll forget...who you are...if you don't put it out there...
[he gulps against the tightness in his throat, feeling his good eye stinging.]
So I don't care...how stupid it is...tell me about it. One thing a day. Okay...?
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Manabu... [He doesn't know what to say, rendered temporarily speechless by his words. What could he say? He listens intently before falling into a comfortable silence shortly after Manabu stops talking. Could he promise something like that? A simple text a day of something familiar? What if he doesn't find anything familiar, or can't think of something to text him?
He nods slowly, reaching for his cup of tea once more.]
One thing a day. [He finds himself smiling softly, looking down into the cup.] Only if you do the same. Perhaps it'll help us both as we navigate this place.
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he's relieved to hear Ryunosuke agree to the idea, even if it comes at the cost of one good turn for another.
he exhales heavily, finally losing that wound-up posture.]
Y...yeah...
[Magnet yips off-screen.]
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[He's still learning how to use the Omni, but he's been doing better with texting and slowly interacting with people over the network. It was still far beyond what he's used to, but he sees the benefits of it.]
Are you sure you want me texting you every day? That won't get annoying, will it?
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he exhales a chilly vapor in a huff, sitting upright and finally daring to look over and sees there's a less fraught smile on Ryunosuke's face. that means...he made the right call, didn't he?
thank goodness...]
Eh? [blinkblink.] Annoying? Aa, n-no. No, it's...not like my Omni's blowing up all the time anyway. It'll be fine!
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Though he says it's fine, he's still going to worry a little bit.
Ryunosuke turns his attention to his empty tea cup, and tilts it toward him.]
Do you want some more tea?
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[blink blink.]
Uoh--
[Ryunosuke said do you want some more tea? and Manabu hears can I have some more tea. with that in his brain, Manabu pops up out of his seat and plucks Ryunosuke's cup from his hand.]
Right-- I'll be right back!
[aaand before Ryunosuke can object, he's off to go get more, back almost as quickly. he has to - he doesn't want to chill the cup!
this is how he works best: having a task, being able to do something for someone. any movement that makes him feel like he's moving forward, instead of simply treading water. he looks brighter-eyed for it, even.]
Here...should still be hot? I hope. Sorry if it isn't...
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[Before he can say anything, Manabu is off and getting him more tea. He glances at his neglected bread, and finally takes a bite of the torn-off piece. Eating the food here reminds him of what he's found in England, and he misses the food from Japan. What he wouldn't give for a hot pot right now. He smiles when Manabu returns, accepting the cup gingerly.]
Thank you. It's fine. [Even if it was cooler (which it's not by much!) he still enjoys the tea and company greatly.] I really appreciate your kindness when I wasn't sure I'd find much.
[He's gotten used to the xenophobia the English people sometimes displayed when he greeted them. How his English is surprisingly decent for a Japanese man.] I'm sorry if I worried you. I just wasn't sure where else to turn.
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wasn't...sure he'd find much? well, inside that hellish tower, Manabu gets it. but out here? nobody...was helping him?]
I-it's okay. I mean, I'm glad you relied on me! That...I was around to be relied on, even. [it's one helluva turn from the past few weeks, that's for sure.
now that he's sat still again, he takes a more careful look at Ryunosuke, looking for signs of dire injury beyond the haunted look on his face.]
They...didn't hurt you, did they?
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He'll get there.]
No, they didn't hurt me. I... I don't know how I managed it, but I got through relatively unscathed. [Mentally he was scarred, and he would never forget what he saw (likely that he'd have nightmares) but at least he made it out in one piece.] I usually hid when I heard something coming. I wasn't armed so I wasn't sure I'd be able to take anything in a fight.
[Being without the katana, no matter if he knows how to use it or not, was terrifying on many levels.]
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No, that's smart, those...those guys are bad. Bad news. Better to hide and get away. You still got a place here in Willful Machine, right? Somewhere safe-?
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