[ f r o w n. the temptation to open his mouth and blurt out first-impression guesses is tempered by the glower Oliver wears and prompts Manabu to stop and just think on that for a minute. reflect.
that person who was reaching to keep "Bucky" from falling into the abyss. that person who was fighting alongside him, apparently more closely than the others that flickered in and out of that memory.]
...Because...he...never saw you again. After that. [he looks back up out of his thoughts. is he right? he kind of hopes there's more to it -- some afterward about, hell, maybe losing a bet in poker or something a little less dire.]
[Perhaps if he were less tired, less wrung out after the events of the past few days, he might be able to school his expression better. But he can't, and his eyes are a mix of regret, guilt, and longing. How much of this can he keep back, while still providing an adequate explanation?]
The fall... changed me. When we met again it didn't go well, but he still thinks that I'm the same man I used to be.
Manabu's own eyes wince with empathy, mixed with confusion. how the hell did he survive? changed how? why wouldn't his friend just be happy to see him again? putting himself in those shoes with such little understanding, Manabu can't imagine being anything but grateful!
but things are never simple, are they?]
...Okay, so... [he shifts in his seat, slumping a bit, sitting back up straight...slumping again. even weary, he's not the kind of person to sit still.] Whatever's going on there is a hundred percent not my business, so it's not like I'm going to go out of my way to make a big problem. But-- [he grimaces.] Like...what are you going to do? With the way this place works, it might be just a matter of time before you guys cross paths, right?
Bucky would have preferred to let Manabu keep having this as none of his business, but he has a feeling that if he just left it then it would blow up in his face down the line. Manabu is too helpful, and Steve is too helpful, the two of them are bound to collide at some point in the future.]
I hurt him. [It's said with such guilt.] He doesn't know where I am now.
[Manabu's face scrunches in a kind of what the heck, man?? look before he brings his hands to his face, dragging them down and resting his chin in them.]
Okayyy... [so on top of memory-looping flower traps, the bitey skeleton rats, whatever's afflicting the locals, the sky being weird... this one's pretty mundane, right? two guys with a past who will probably punch each other on-sight.
except that's annoying. annoyed:] You guys are just gonna keep avoiding or...beating each other up in a place like this? I mean, there's been a few bigger things going on, you know...that might require a bit more...cooperation?
[He's not expecting the sudden annoyance. Of all the reactions, that takes him by surprise, because why the hell should Manabu care if they were avoiding each other or not? All he needs to do is to agree not to stoke the fire by telling Steve anything about meeting Bucky.
A frown creases his brow and he shakes his head.]
He's safer if I stay away, it's not about cooperation. You're right, there are bigger things happening here, so it's better not to add that complication in.
I don't get that, though, it-- urgh. [Manabu is not a psychologist, not a debate club member, nor any other sort who is sharp-witted or just wise enough to have the right perspective that suits the moment. he's rash, impulsive, driven by his heart and the influences on it.
look, even saying something troublesome is not his business is growth for him! he likes to throw himself at problems until as solution is battered out or just naturally exists, regardless of his movements. such characteristics do not really work well in Deerington, or...complicated things.
not his business. that's for damn sure. except when it becomes his business! when he winds up stumbling through a loop of that business that wasn't his!!
still fidgety, he sits back in his seat, frowning out toward the kitchen window. he doesn't have to like something that's right. yeah, yeah... but the prospect of someone he thought long-gone still being around, avoiding him...kinda sits poorly. not his business. nope.]
Never mind. I'm not the type of person who talks for other people. Do it yourself. Or not, I guess. [he quickly looks back, almost pouting:] But you don't get to blame me if stuff comes out because something weird gets in my head and somehow your business gets dropped around him! It's not like I can make an airtight promise in a messed-up place like this!
[he folds his arms, slumping again.] And it's not like I'm not used to getting slugged because of other people's hang-ups, so...whatever to that.
[He really wishes that he could push for a better promise than that, but he's not so stupid as to understand the town has ways of circumnavigating barriers it doesn't want. Even just the events of the last few days have proven that.
But the petulance is surprising, and it gets a forbidding sort of frown in return.]
All I'm asking is for you to try.
[He finally takes a swig of his water, exhausted.]
[he squints at him. jeez, is this guy just too worn out to puff up and be more threatening like he did that first encounter? Manabu expected more aggression, hence the puffing up to cover his own ass.
try is new. try wasn't in the first demand. and while sorry isn't new, it...hits weird.
deflating a bit, looking elsewhere:] It's not your fault, and it's not like I'm mad at you about it. You've probably got a rougher deal, anyway. [dead families aside.]
Nh. That was a long time ago. [his expression softens, growing distant. he'd made his peace with it, he's sure...but that was very visceral -- more than any dream or reflection could be. he's ashamed at how impulse pushed him into moving to change things without realizing that's not possible...and it impresses him Oliver never tried to do the same at the onset of his own, instead just asking first.
to be fair, no one had been there to ask Manabu... not that he'd have listened.
he looks back over, a thought striking him.] Hey, you haven't seen any of those dumb deer that're supposed to be helping us out yet, have you? Or heard anything about an organization called "FEAR"...? [god, what a stupid acronym.]
[It's obvious that it's affected Manabu more than he wants to let on, but it's also equally obvious he doesn't want to talk about it. Bucky can respect that, he didn't come here with the purpose of opening old wounds all over again, and so he'll allow the subject change without comment.]
I know a little bit about FEAR.
[His tone says that he also disapproves of the acronym.]
I got some information on this place from the library, it had a little about FEAR in there. But I haven't seen any deer around, not since that first dream.
[while Bucky responds, Manabu pats himself down, fishing out his Fluid. he's only just begun to go over what seems like a whole textbook of notes Mako gave him -- no mention of FEAR or deer yet.
thumbing through some of the text:] Me either. A lot of the stuff I've been given from other Sleepers reads more like a weird horror novel than current events... Alien races, weird experiments...[he squints, scrolling back up on something.] This place is in layers or something?
[The notes from Martin were different, but perhaps that's because they had been collated and then dictated onto tapes for him.]
But I believe it all the same. I think a lot of the people here are inured to it now, too tired from dealing with each new thing to realise how strange it is.
[something he doesn't want to become himself. aliens are fine! well...still kind of troubling, but not new in his line of work at least. the whole...god-powers and layers of waking and sleeping stuff is pretty over his head, though.
people...shouldn't have to go through this. he can't imagine a good reason for it.
how does he help fix this?
he's quiet for a couple minutes, stewing on all of this.
eventually:] I found a ring of keys and an employment letter addressed to me. For the college campus. I don't know if it's a trap or not, but it could also mean I have a chance to find something else that might be locked up, so...I'm going to try there, I think. See if I can get more things I was given to line up with what's already here.
[At least Manabu isn't so stupidly idealistic that he doesn't see the potential trap, though privately Bucky thinks that ship has already sailed once he stayed in the house provided and carried the phone they gave him.
There's a moment of weighted silence, but... damn it.]
I can come with you, wait outside. If something goes wrong, I'll try to pull you out.
[Manabu has earned that much for his kindnesses so far.]
[not that he doesn't appreciate it -- he does, just...he knows this guy's type. and they're not bound to work together out of obligation or work or anything. Manabu knows he's not an ordinary civilian anymore, but...he also doesn't really owe him anything, either.
But he doesn't understand where that question comes from, of course going with anyone to protect them from a potentially dangerous situation is more trouble than not doing that. He isn't doing it because it's no trouble, he's doing it because it's the right thing to do.]
Manabu's own mouth twitches, but he's going to actively avoid pressing on it, because experience has taught him to avoid prodding sourpusses too much when the rare bit of levity is finally achieved.]
S-sure! I'll mark it with an "O"...and leave it by a window somewhere? [er.] If there's windows? I...haven't been there yet. [both hands up:] But I can figure it out! It's not complicated.
[There's a small pause, but then his smile fades.]
You know my name isn't Oliver.
[It's not a confession, more a statement. A slight question. Manabu has to know, he heard Steve shout his name enough times, so why is he still going along with the charade?]
[yeah, he heard. but he wasn't supposed to hear, so it doesn't really count, does it? at least, from where Manabu is sitting it doesn't.]
...What name do you want me to use? [if he's so sore about what happened that he and the other guy beat each other up on-sight, Manabu's not excited to get in line.]
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that person who was reaching to keep "Bucky" from falling into the abyss. that person who was fighting alongside him, apparently more closely than the others that flickered in and out of that memory.]
...Because...he...never saw you again. After that. [he looks back up out of his thoughts. is he right? he kind of hopes there's more to it -- some afterward about, hell, maybe losing a bet in poker or something a little less dire.]
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[Perhaps if he were less tired, less wrung out after the events of the past few days, he might be able to school his expression better. But he can't, and his eyes are a mix of regret, guilt, and longing. How much of this can he keep back, while still providing an adequate explanation?]
The fall... changed me. When we met again it didn't go well, but he still thinks that I'm the same man I used to be.
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[he'd have preferred a bad poker game.
Manabu's own eyes wince with empathy, mixed with confusion. how the hell did he survive? changed how? why wouldn't his friend just be happy to see him again? putting himself in those shoes with such little understanding, Manabu can't imagine being anything but grateful!
but things are never simple, are they?]
...Okay, so... [he shifts in his seat, slumping a bit, sitting back up straight...slumping again. even weary, he's not the kind of person to sit still.] Whatever's going on there is a hundred percent not my business, so it's not like I'm going to go out of my way to make a big problem. But-- [he grimaces.] Like...what are you going to do? With the way this place works, it might be just a matter of time before you guys cross paths, right?
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[And so it gets even more complex.
Bucky would have preferred to let Manabu keep having this as none of his business, but he has a feeling that if he just left it then it would blow up in his face down the line. Manabu is too helpful, and Steve is too helpful, the two of them are bound to collide at some point in the future.]
I hurt him. [It's said with such guilt.] He doesn't know where I am now.
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Okayyy... [so on top of memory-looping flower traps, the bitey skeleton rats, whatever's afflicting the locals, the sky being weird... this one's pretty mundane, right? two guys with a past who will probably punch each other on-sight.
except that's annoying. annoyed:] You guys are just gonna keep avoiding or...beating each other up in a place like this? I mean, there's been a few bigger things going on, you know...that might require a bit more...cooperation?
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A frown creases his brow and he shakes his head.]
He's safer if I stay away, it's not about cooperation. You're right, there are bigger things happening here, so it's better not to add that complication in.
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look, even saying something troublesome is not his business is growth for him! he likes to throw himself at problems until as solution is battered out or just naturally exists, regardless of his movements. such characteristics do not really work well in Deerington, or...complicated things.
not his business. that's for damn sure. except when it becomes his business! when he winds up stumbling through a loop of that business that wasn't his!!
still fidgety, he sits back in his seat, frowning out toward the kitchen window. he doesn't have to like something that's right. yeah, yeah... but the prospect of someone he thought long-gone still being around, avoiding him...kinda sits poorly. not his business. nope.]
Never mind. I'm not the type of person who talks for other people. Do it yourself. Or not, I guess. [he quickly looks back, almost pouting:] But you don't get to blame me if stuff comes out because something weird gets in my head and somehow your business gets dropped around him! It's not like I can make an airtight promise in a messed-up place like this!
[he folds his arms, slumping again.] And it's not like I'm not used to getting slugged because of other people's hang-ups, so...whatever to that.
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But the petulance is surprising, and it gets a forbidding sort of frown in return.]
All I'm asking is for you to try.
[He finally takes a swig of his water, exhausted.]
I'm sorry you got mixed up in it.
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try is new. try wasn't in the first demand. and while sorry isn't new, it...hits weird.
deflating a bit, looking elsewhere:] It's not your fault, and it's not like I'm mad at you about it. You've probably got a rougher deal, anyway. [dead families aside.]
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He shakes his head, however, this isn't some kind of contest.]
I don't know, pal. What I saw-- looked pretty rough to me.
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to be fair, no one had been there to ask Manabu... not that he'd have listened.
he looks back over, a thought striking him.] Hey, you haven't seen any of those dumb deer that're supposed to be helping us out yet, have you? Or heard anything about an organization called "FEAR"...? [god, what a stupid acronym.]
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I know a little bit about FEAR.
[His tone says that he also disapproves of the acronym.]
I got some information on this place from the library, it had a little about FEAR in there. But I haven't seen any deer around, not since that first dream.
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thumbing through some of the text:] Me either. A lot of the stuff I've been given from other Sleepers reads more like a weird horror novel than current events... Alien races, weird experiments...[he squints, scrolling back up on something.] This place is in layers or something?
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[The notes from Martin were different, but perhaps that's because they had been collated and then dictated onto tapes for him.]
But I believe it all the same. I think a lot of the people here are inured to it now, too tired from dealing with each new thing to realise how strange it is.
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people...shouldn't have to go through this. he can't imagine a good reason for it.
how does he help fix this?
he's quiet for a couple minutes, stewing on all of this.
eventually:] I found a ring of keys and an employment letter addressed to me. For the college campus. I don't know if it's a trap or not, but it could also mean I have a chance to find something else that might be locked up, so...I'm going to try there, I think. See if I can get more things I was given to line up with what's already here.
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There's a moment of weighted silence, but... damn it.]
I can come with you, wait outside. If something goes wrong, I'll try to pull you out.
[Manabu has earned that much for his kindnesses so far.]
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Isn't that more trouble for you?
[not that he doesn't appreciate it -- he does, just...he knows this guy's type. and they're not bound to work together out of obligation or work or anything. Manabu knows he's not an ordinary civilian anymore, but...he also doesn't really owe him anything, either.
what motivates this guy, anyway?]
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[Obviously.
But he doesn't understand where that question comes from, of course going with anyone to protect them from a potentially dangerous situation is more trouble than not doing that. He isn't doing it because it's no trouble, he's doing it because it's the right thing to do.]
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[Manabu's mouth twitches before he exhales a soft laugh, dipping his head.]
Right, yeah... [his head bobs in a nod, looking back up.] But you know, the real pain is not knowing how to get a hold of you when I do go out there.
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Smoke signals.
[Is that an actual joke? Hard to tell, given his tone of voice doesn't change at all.]
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beat.
blink.
frown.]
...That was sarcasm, right?
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Idiot.
[Honestly, Manabu.]
If you need me, you can leave a note at the library. I check there every few days, it seems like that's where most new information shows up.
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Manabu's own mouth twitches, but he's going to actively avoid pressing on it, because experience has taught him to avoid prodding sourpusses too much when the rare bit of levity is finally achieved.]
S-sure! I'll mark it with an "O"...and leave it by a window somewhere? [er.] If there's windows? I...haven't been there yet. [both hands up:] But I can figure it out! It's not complicated.
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You know my name isn't Oliver.
[It's not a confession, more a statement. A slight question. Manabu has to know, he heard Steve shout his name enough times, so why is he still going along with the charade?]
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[yeah, he heard. but he wasn't supposed to hear, so it doesn't really count, does it? at least, from where Manabu is sitting it doesn't.]
...What name do you want me to use? [if he's so sore about what happened that he and the other guy beat each other up on-sight, Manabu's not excited to get in line.]
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